Monday, January 23, 2006

You’re Shi***ng Me.

I like to think I’m running a family blog here, but now and then there’s something a bit ****** up that gets through.

For all of the harping we do, we spend relatively little time imagining what the future will look like. One of the fun daydreams I indulge is the one where furry-browed Senators are interrogating middle- aged people (white, well-to-do people) about their former association with the Republican Party: “Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Republican Party?”

Here’s another. A tape from Osama bin Ladn is released. It contains a screed against the US and offers to open peace negotiations. A Republican operative is trotted out to comment on CNN, say the Vice President. After having the tape described by the reporter, the Vice President says, “Well, see, what’s sad is that this shows how the Democrats are actually on the same side as al-Quaida.”

At which point, the reporter would utter with dripping disbelief: “You’re sh****ng me.”

And then launch into a tirade to the effect of, “You’ve just seen America’s Most Wanted, the supposed mastermind of 9/11, taunt the US, and what you come up with is how this shows liberals are fools? Come on.”

See, the day that happens is the day the forces of evil will be on the run. Until then, we’ll get Wolf Blitzer saying, “Oh, I see, Mr. Vice President. Why do you think the Democrats are so out of touch with our all-new post 9/11 world?”

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