I don't usually waste my beautiful mind on the musings of confirmed half-wits like Billy Krystal. As a kid, I had two dogs, Spot and Frisky. ("Naming Things" was evidently not a course that either of my parents excelled in.) Either one of them, both long-gone to doggie heaven of course, had more insight into American public affairs that Billy. Yet neither has a newspaper column. Oh the injustice!

According to reliable sources, Billy is mad that BHO didn't talk more about the military at a recent commencement address. This brought home to me a idea I've been toying with the last few weeks about the nature of Republican-ism.

Republicans are famously derisive of governmental powers and responsibilities. But with one glaring exception -- the military. in fact, in their current mis-adventure in the Middle East, they are endeavoring to accomplish every task -- building schools, caring for the sick, feeding the hungry, etc. -- solely with military resources. In many cases, those resources are in fact outside contractors (wouldn't want to leave out those poor shareholders!), but even they are largely militarized servants of the DoD. (And speaking of which, boy oh boy are we well defended! Who knew we faced such threats!).

Not just overseas. The only appropriate manifestations of the US Government to these loonies are military ones. That's why they've accepted such quasi-military icons as police and firemen. (Firemen!). Perhaps we can convince them on skycaps and doormen.

For reasons only their psychoanalysts could fathom, these authority-lovers see the only legitimate branch of government as the military. Imagine their surprise when young President Obama switches things around!

I really can't wait for these unreconstructed Birchites to return to their richly deserved place of ridicule and obscurity.